Not Now.

Not now.

when my thoughts are so shallow

ankle deep in the low tide

surface level consciousness

knocking my brain around my skull

how hollow must I be

before the engine turns over again

For now.

I avoid the sleep that brings such wretchedness

my vision screams at the stench

of running up endless steps

only to fall again to my death

where I began

Right now.

I can’t think of anything more

than who I am

how I came to be

and there is nothing telling me

where to go from here

Here is all there’s ever been

all I will ever see

Not now.

while I am weak

floorboards squeaking in the early morning

long before the sun bothers to shine

if I could climb

and tether my rope to the apex

of some mighty mass

and pull myself to safety

I don’t think I would cut my line

but I can’t be sure.